


take my hands now

by fairyyhyunjin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Kim Seungmin, Asexuality, Bisexual Bang Chan, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Seo Changbin, Bisexuality, Boys In Love, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorks in Love, Everyone Is Gay, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gay, Gay Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han is a Panicked Gay, Holding Hands, Hugs, Hurt Felix, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Hwang Hyunjin is a Sweetheart, Hwang Hyunjin-centric, Idiots in Love, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) Needs a Hug, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is Whipped, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Panicked Gay, Love, Love Confessions, Lowercase, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, OT8, Pansexual Character, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, Shy Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Stray Kids is 8, Sweet Hwang Hyunjin, lapslock, pansexual yang jeongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26367334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyyhyunjin/pseuds/fairyyhyunjin
Summary: hyunjin chooses felix, but his friends don't approve.will love win out in the end? will they learn to trust his judgement and not judge someone by their facade?-OR-a girl hits on hyunjin and he pretends to date felix to get away from her. softness and falling in love ensues. there's a little bit of a rocky start but boys in love conquer all.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 12
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted on my bts account as a yoonkook but i changed it to be hyunlix. obviously there are jungkook's "euphoria" lyrics in here, as well as in the title.
> 
> lowercase is on purpose.
> 
> hope you enjoy.

"hyunjin-oppa, are you listening to me?"

my head shot up, looking for the source of yet another interruption. as my eyes landed on a petite girl named ji-ah, i softened, reaching up to pull my earbuds out. "sorry," i said quickly, bowing my head towards her. "what were you saying?"

she fidgeted, avoiding my questioning gaze. when she finally answered, her head was down, so i had to lean closer to hear what she was saying. "i just w-wanted to know if you w-would go out with me?" a groan slipped past my lips before i could stifle it. the poor girl looked like she was about to cry.

i reached out and grabbed one of her tiny hands. it slipped easily into mine, barely reaching past my palm. too small. "listen, ji-ah, I cant go out with you. i'm..." i looked around, desperate for an escape from this conversation. "i'm already dating someone." curse my unfiltered mouth. maybe that wasn't the best excuse. her eyes narrowed as she snatched her hand from mine, not so discreetly wiping it down her skirt.

"why do you lie to me, hyunjin? you could've just been truthful and said you didn't want to."

panicking, i glanced at my surroundings again. my eyes landed on a certain person, and my plan began formulating. "no, no, you've got it all wrong!" i protested, returning my gaze to the slightly furious girl seething in front of me. "i am dating someone! see, here he is."

i grabbed his arm as he passed by us, pulling him into a tight embrace while smiling awkwardly at ji-ah.

"this is my boyfriend, lee felix." i released him, blushing at the dumbfounded look on his face. they both started at me in silence, ji-ah finally speaking up to accuse me of lying once again.

"he isn't your boyfriend! you don't even know each other." she crossed her arms, pouting in what she probably thought was an endearing way. not.

felix looked at me, raising an eyebrow. i silently begged him to go with it, to do anything to save me from this crazy girl. he nodded, smirking. "please stop accusing my boyfriend of being untruthful. now, since all you seemed to want was validation of our relationship, we'll be going now. have a lovely day." he wrapped his arm around my waist, steering us towards the gates, leaving a very flustered girl behind us.

meanwhile, i was still reeling from all that. when he opened his mouth, i didn't expect...that. he looked so soft and small, but his voice was deeper than anyone else's i'd ever heard. it was deep and raspy, like the growl of a lion.

there was a weird feeling in my stomach, and i rubbed it with one hand, dismissing it as cramps from not eating the entire day.

felix's voice scattered my thoughts, bringing me back to reality. i immediately savored the sound, relishing how gorgeous it was. "what, no thanks for your boyfriend? remind me why we're dating again, if you're so rude?" his face was stoic, making me panic again. did he think we were...? the idea left as quickly as it came when i saw the mischievous glint in his eyes, as he cracked a smile.

he nudged my chest with his shoulder, eyes crinkling. he looked so pretty when he was smiling.

lee felix was beautiful.

but he wasn't mine.


	2. Chapter 2

minho flicked me on the forehead, smiling that boxy little smile of his. “i heard you snagged a boyfriend.”

jisung’s eyes flew open and he choked on his banana milk, making a scene. “what!?”

i rolled my eyes at his theatrics and continued shoveling food in my mouth, not revealing anything. i didn’t want to tell them about anything. not how he grabbed my hand, shyly lacing his fingers in mine as we walked down the sidewalk. not how his head rested on my shoulder as we waited at the crosswalk. and especially not how his lips lingered on my cheek as we parted ways.

“i... this is weird, but I don’t really want this night to end,” i whispered, rubbing my neck and not quite meeting felix’s eyes as we stood at my apartment door.

he laughed, and it was a deep, melodic sound, music to my ears. suddenly we were hugging, his lips parted against my neck. i shivered, drawing him closer, wrapping my arms tightly around him so he felt safe. “i don’t want this... us... to end, either.”

felix’s voice was quiet, muffled against my skin, but it sliced through the cool night air, warming my insides. heat was coursing through my veins.

i felt him rise up on the tips of his sneakers, and i leaned back to look at him. our eyes met and he smiled softly, leaning forward to kiss me oh so softly on the cheek. his lips were slightly chapped but gentle and soft and oh my god they were heaven. and the freckles. they were everywhere. i wanted to pull him into my apartment and aggressively cuddle him right then.

“see you tomorrow, love,” he whispered against my cheek, slowly disentangling our arms.

“i... bye, felix,” i stammered, awestruck by his beauty. as he stepped onto the sidewalk, the sunset shone around him, making him glow like an actual angel. me being the photographer that i was, i snapped a quick picture before he turned around, shooting me a small smile as he left.

i closed the door quietly, watching him disappear into the night, then sighed dreamily, collapsing on my bed.

“hyunjin? earth to hyunjin!” chan was waving his hand in front of my face, laughing his signature laugh when i finally looked at him. i closed my photos, sliding my phone under my thigh with a light blush dusting my cheeks.

“i... what?” i hadn’t been paying attention, i was still replaying that day with lee felix. it’d only been a few days, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about him. changbin slid my phone out from under my leg, holding it up triumphantly as he typed in the password. he was swiping through my photos with a gleeful look on his face, letting out a short laugh as he searched for my “mystery man,” as they were fond of calling him.

to be honest, felix was a pretty secretive guy, even though i knew the most about him out of all of us. or so I thought.

seungmin yanked the phone out of changbin’s hand, face turning red. he whirled around to face me, shoving the phone at me. “what the hell, hyunjin! lee felix? you could’ve done way better.” his initial anger faded quickly, but he definitely wasn’t happy. “why him?” he asked softly.

i stared blankly at him, attempting to understand why he was so upset. “what’s wrong with felix?”

chan cut in, a sad smile on his handsome face. “hyun, lee felix is bad news. he barely ever comes to school, and when he does he just sits in detention smoking and doodling in his notebook.” minho’s smile mirrored chan’s as he nodded.

i stood up abruptly, shoving my chair away from the table with a soft “no” and storming into the hallway. not knowing what to do or where to go, i sped through, peeking through all of the classroom windows to get a glimpse of purple. when i reached the last room without spotting him, i whirled around, hitting one of the lockers and shoving my way into the bathroom.

there was a thud and a soft “oof” as i rushed in. i raced over to the boy slumped against the wall, catching a glimpse of his straight purple hair as i helped him up.

“lixie,” i breathed, blinking away the sudden tears. i barreled into him and buried my face in his chest, inhaling the scent of lavender and laundry detergent. felix wrapped his arms around me, patting the back of my head protectively as he waited for me to stop sobbing, which i was doing full time by then. i sniffed, finally realizing how dramatic i was being, buried into his soft sweater.

“shush, hyung,” he murmured low in my ear, immediately relaxing my body as his deft fingers shuffled through my hair. i let out a breathy sigh, leaning farther into him as my arms snaked around his neck.

we were now fully pressed against the wall, me boxing his body in with mine. he waited for me to release him, then he reached up to wipe a tear from my hot face.

i let him go, managing a small smile as my body ached to fill the space i’d just created between us.

“what’s wrong, love?” felix’s face was gentle, taking over my blotchy face as he pouted a little. he was so beautiful. i didn’t love him. it was too soon for that. but i knew there was something there, something that i wanted to explore.

“my friends say you’re bad for me,” i blurted out, wincing at the flash of hurt on his face.

“i see,” he drawled, his australian accent coming out. that accent that made my knees weak. “what are you going to do about it?”

i stared at him, taking in everything, from his ruffled purple hair and droopy chocolate colored eyes, to his slender fingers and his small frame. i reached out, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear.

“i still want you.”


	3. Chapter 3

avoiding my friends was really hard, i’d find out later. i mean, there were five of them, all with different classes and schedules to think about. i stuck to felix’s side for the next two weeks, before finally deciding to skip class the next day. even though he skipped all the time, felix tried his hardest to convince me not to.

“c’mon, lixie. just one day. one day where i don’t have to constantly look over my shoulder. one day where—“

“no, hyung—“

“—we can be alone, no distractions.”

his protests died instantly, and he lifted one eyebrow coolly. “alone?”

i nodded. “all day.”

felix’s head slowly began bobbing up and down as he figured out what i was implying. “okay,” came the deep voice, making my head spin for what felt like the thousandth time that day. “one day, all day, at my place. we can do whatever we want.” he delivered the last sentence with what i thought was the absolute sexiest expression i’d ever seen him wear before.

“sounds perfect. see you tomorrow, lixie.” i leaned in and planted a soft, lingering kiss below his ear. then i rushed off, overcome with excitement. there were just so many things i wanted to do with that boy.

unfortunately, my good mood only lasted two periods.

“hyunjin-ah! slow down please,” wheezed jisung, turning me around quickly so i faced him.

i looked at the row of lockers above his head, trying to fight the guilt that was seeping in. after all, he was one of my best friends, and i was avoiding him just because of what seungmin and minho thought of felix. i steadied my breath, glancing around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on us. “i’m sorry for avoiding you, jisungie. i’ve been, er, busy lately.”

he crossed his arms, clearly doubtful. “busy with lee felix?”

i scoffed, heart cracking a little as the words came tumbling out of my mouth. “felix? of course not! why would you think that?”

jisung looked nervous, and maybe a little confused, confirming my acting skills.

“b-but, hyunjin... i thought you liked each other?” his brows knit together, creating the cutest look of utter confusion on his face.

i rolled my eyes, ignoring the queasy feeling as i blatantly lied to one of my best friends, once again. “he might like me, i don’t know. i have zero interest in him, though. the only reason i even hung with him in the first place is because he was the first person i saw when i was trying to escape ji-ah.” i leaned in closer, acting like i was about to tell him a scandalous secret. “honestly, he was nothing but a sex toy, and he wasn’t very good at that, anyways.”

did you hear that? it was the sound of my heart breaking clean in half. it hurt so bad.

jisung still looked worried, but he relented, giving me a small, awkward smile and retreating.

i spun around, relieved to finally escape him and his questions. felix was waiting in our usual place and i couldn’t wait to walk home with him. my entire body froze as our eyes met, because of course he was standing right behind me. probably the whole time. i reached an arm out, realizing just how much he had heard.

“hyung, no, it’s not what you think, i promise—“ he cut me off with a look, turning away to leave.

before he had turned all the way, he glanced back at me with glassy eyes. a solitary tear slid down his cheek, and he wiped it away slowly, holding eye contact with me. “what good are your promises to me,” he spoke quietly, voice shaking, “when i don’t mean shit to you?”

with that, he walked away, shoulders shaking as the reality of the situation hit him like a freight train. his shoulders began to crumble, and his hands shot up to his trembling mouth, muffling the violent sobs that kept slipping through.

i took a few steps towards him, wanting to comfort him, explain everything to him, but the bell rang, and everyone filed into the hallway, and i lost him in the crowd.

“but i still want you...” i whispered, the first of many tears carving a new trail down my cheek.

that’s the thing about lying. it entangles you so tightly in its coils that you don’t know how to escape.


	4. Chapter 4

—— hwang hyunjin ——

i tossed and turned that night, ignoring the constant slew of calls and texts i was receiving from my friend group.

all except for one, if i could even call him my friend anymore.

he wouldn’t acknowledge me, wouldn’t answer the phone so i could please please explain what i said.

why i said it.

i was dying to talk to him, even it was just him yelling at me for hours.

sleep doesn’t come easy for a person that was used to sleeping with another person every night.

i just wanted him back.

that one thought raced around my storming mind, around and around until i fell asleep thinking of his beautiful smile.


	5. Chapter 5

—— lee felix ——

“lee felix! get your ass up!” jonghyun sang in a sickeningly happy voice, crashing his way into my room, which was strictly off-limits. i glanced up at him, groaning. my head was pounding, my face was red and raw from the tears that just wouldn’t stop streaming down my hollow cheeks.

“get up, babe. you need something to eat. and drink. your hydration levels are probably way down after yesterday.”

another groan echoed through my virtually empty room. i curled up against the body pillow i had underneath the comforter. my bed felt so empty already, even though he had only been there for the past two weeks, a week or two after i met him. his words hurt, plain and simple. i was the campus bad boy, the one who skipped class and fucked around with other guys for fun.

at least, i thought i was. seems like someone was looking to take my throne. i’d never been a weak person, just a quiet one. all it took was a quick hug and a look into desperate brown eyes, and i was ruined. a boy in a black shirt and a black jacket and, god forbid, those tight black jeans. he dressed like the devil, but his eyes and lips and face that looked so pure and innocent.

well, looks can be deceiving.

even though it hurt, and i felt empty, i still had to try. try to get up, to go to school, to face him, to forget him. i knew as soon as i got to campus i wouldn’t be able to stay.

he was everywhere.

in the quad where we first met.

in the bathroom where we became maybe more than friends.

in the corners where we snuck cheek kisses but nothing more.

in the hallway where everything had come crashing down.

we were supposed to have plans today. we were supposed to skip school and cuddle in my bed and watch some of those dumb cartoons he always turned on when we got there.

maybe we could’ve finally kissed, not on the cheek or the neck, but the lips. maybe we could’ve been something more.

so many “maybe’s” and “what if’s.”

i turned around, deciding to skip and go on my own today anyways, fuck his plans, fuck him. my dad always told me to keep my expectations low, because there was always something that would crush them.

maybe he was right.


	6. Chapter 6

—— hwang hyunjin ——

as soon as i woke up, i saw there was a message on my phone.

from jonghyun  
did something happen between you and felix?

from hyunjin  
yes

from jonghyun  
he’s really fucked up dude

from hyunjin  
can i come over?

from jonghyun  
sure just be careful okay  
he’s fragile right now

from hyunjin  
thank you

closing the messaging app, i quickly dialed felix’s number, wanting to tell him i’d be coming over myself.

“hey. this is lee felix. obviously, i’m not available right now, but feel free to try again later. or not.”

i was such an idiot. just hearing his fucking voicemail was making me cry. the phone beeped, and i sniffled, recording my message. “felix…lixie, i am so sorry for what happened. i had to do it. i’m coming to your apartment, i’ll explain there. please let me in.”

i paused, unsure of what to say. “i miss you a lot.” i ended the call, then washed my face and threw on some clothes. as i raced out of the house, i caught my reflection in the mirror, and went back to muss my hair up a bit, the way he said he liked.

exactly seven minutes later, thanks to largely unenforced speeding law, i was pacing in front of his gray door, sweating.

“okay, you can do this,” i whispered, psyching myself up. i shook out my limbs, breathing out harshly as i knocked tentatively on the door.

no answer.

i knocked again, a little harder than before. i thought i heard faint footsteps echoing inside, but there was still no answer. “here goes,” i whispered to myself yet again, twisting the knob and slowly opening the door. “hello? felix?” i called, closing the door and stepping out of my shoes.

a door slammed and i whirled around, brushing through my hair nervously.

“hyunjin? thank god, he’ll be here any second.” his voice was full of worry, and maybe a little bit of repressed anger.

“of course i’m here, jonghyun. i have to see him.”

i sat down on the couch, waiting for the inevitable return of felix.

the door swung open and i shot up, straightening my black shirt frantically.

“hyunjin?”


	7. Chapter 7

—— lee felix ——

he was here, and jonghyun was looking as guilty as ever. i spun on him, pointing my finger in his face. “what a friend you’ve been, huh? letting the only person i don’t want to see in my apartment.”

jonghyun visibly swallowed, clutching his hands behind his back. “y-you need to talk, felix.”

i sighed, running my hands over my face. “fine. but leave first.” i positioned my arm where it was now pointing at the door, effectively kicking my roommate out of his own apartment.

he gladly left, grabbing his keys and speeding out of there.

hyunjin was still standing there, wide-eyed and innocent looking.

“go home, stray. i don’t have anything to say to you.”

his jaw dropped and i saw pain flash in his eyes, before he straightened up and walked towards me.

“felix,” he called to me, in that sexy, smooth voice of his. it was gentle, warm, inviting, and i wanted nothing more than to rush into his strong arms. i stood there until he was a foot away, breathing shallowly as we came face to face. “felix, please,” he begged, reaching for my hand.

he looked so insanely beautiful like that, all desperate to fix things.

stop getting off topic, felix.

“can you please leave?” i asked, voice breaking as i saw the look on his face. i sped into my room, feeling suffocated by the closed in space of my living room.

i slammed the door, waiting for the

click.

door locked.

i collapsed on my bed, burying my nose in the pillow he always used when he was there. tears were coming and coming and they wouldn’t stop, so i just let them go where they wanted.


	8. Chapter 8

—— hwang hyunjin ——

i banged my forehead on his bedroom door, hand resting on the knob. i’d caught it before it locked, but i still didn’t want to cross any boundaries.

“felix?” i called as softly as i could, muffled sobs coming from the other side.

“no,” he said, still muffled by the two inches of solid wood that were separating us.

i gently knocked, turning the handle a little. “i’m coming in, baby? okay?” i listened for anything, a protest, something, but was encouraged by the silence. the door slowly creaked open and it revealed a rumpled bed with a lee felix hiding underneath the blankets.

“oh, lixie,” i sobbed, rushing over to him to grasp one of his hands. it felt so good, to feel his hand, alive and warm in mine.

after a few seconds, he stiffened, pulling his arm back under the covers. “well,” came the voice from under the fluffy white comforter. “are you going to try to come up with a lame excuse for this or just stand there listening to me cry all day?” he was being sassy, that was a slightly positive sign.

“i lied to jisung. i just wanted him to leave me alone, leave you alone. i wanted us to be able to be together, without them interfering. when seungmin first figured out who you were, he threw a fucking fit. so did minho. they said you were bad news, you would corrupt me. they were so wrong, on so many levels.”

“i don’t care what they think!” he yelled hoarsely. “you hurt me, hyunie. a lot. maybe the worst i’ve ever been hurt before. i don’t want to be with someone who chooses lies and deceit so quickly over honesty.”

my voice came back just as frenzied. “i said all of those things to put them off of our trail, so i could be with you, felix. can’t you see? i love you.”

silence.

the blankets rustled and felix’s head peeked out, face red and puffy. tears still leaked out of the corners of his eyes.

“what did you just say?” he questioned quietly.

i took a deep breath, looked him in the eye. “lee felix, i am absolutely in love with you.”

he lifted his head, hair falling in his eyes as he pulled me onto the bed, shifting us where he was straddling my thighs.

felix’s face dipped down close to mine, lips ghosting over my cheek. “hyunjin-hyung... i love you, too.” he surged forward, and i met him in the middle, connecting our lips in the most perfect first kiss in all of history.

sure, there were tears and clashing teeth and bumping noses, but it was all with lee fucking felix, love of my life.

it was magical. beautiful. perfect.

i pushed him away, stroking one of his flushed cheeks as we caught her breath. “say it again?” felix asked shyly, clutching my shirt between his fists.

“say what?” i teased, not being able to resist the chance of seeing that trademark pout.

felix flushed, smacking me on the chest. “please, hyun-ah?”

i took another deep breath, smiling as i said it again, sure this time. “lee felix, i am absolutely in love with you.”

he smiled, for the first time in days, it felt like. it was his real smile, the pretty one where his eyes crinkled and his freckles shone. i gently kissed him on the forehead, then nose, then mouth, pulling him against my chest with a content sigh. he whimpered, curling up against my neck.

i was so gone for this boy.


	9. Chapter 9

“bohemian rhapsody! please, lixie! that’s my favorite,” i begged, shaking felix until he turned the movie on, throwing the remote on the coffee table.

“so spoiled,” he whispered, hand resting over my leg, spreading across my entire thigh. i grabbed his free hand, clutching it between both of mine as i snuggled against him. a pair of rolled up socks bounced off my forehead, followed by a chuckle and an exasperated sigh.

“we always watch this, hyunjin-ssi,” jisung whined, wanting to rewatch naruto for the hundredth time.

“shush, jisungie. it’s hyunie’s day, he can watch what he wants,” minho lightly scolded his boyfriend, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. they both blushed and i smiled, happy everything was working out.

chan and changbin were cuddled together in one corner, seungmin and minho in the other, claiming that all the couches were too crowded. they were tickling each other, rolling around the floor with fits of laughter.

changbin, as if he sensed my gaze, looked up and winked at me. “felix, thanks for having us. we’re having a lot of fun.”

he elbowed seungmin, whose face was bright and happy. “yeah, thanks for not, like, hating me for trying to keep you two apart. you and hyunie are perfect.” chan just laughed, agreeing with the two boys he was sandwiched between.

“no problem,” felix returned, kissing me on the top of the head. “thanks for agreeing to officially meet me.”

“no one could resist you, baby,” i whispered in his ear, blushing as i heard a sharp intake of breath.

he pulled me against him so my back was flush with his chest, and i pushed backwards, cuddling into him.

felix chuckled, breath heating up the room. he pointed at the tv, signaling for me to concentrate.

i relaxed against his chest, sighing softly as i felt his heartbeat. he smiled at me, kissing the back of my head.

“i love you, hwang hyunjin.”

“i love you, lee felix.”

he was the cause of my euphoria.


	10. Chapter 10

the end!

i added an extra chapter because stray kids is not 9 

it's not 10 either but it's definitely not 9

also stream BACK DOOR!!!!!!


End file.
